Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, July 5, 2012
growing belly
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
introducing the main act: LAKEN!! :)
This is very overdue, but try finding the time with a newborn!
i am glad, happy, ecstatic to introduce to you... my prince, and a future lucky girls prince charming.
I am so glad to be back from the hospital and in my own element, but I weirdly wish that I could just rent a room and stay there with this baby! This first week of his life has been the most emotional week I've ever had in my entire life. (that mainly has to do with breast feeding, and that is a going to be a blog of its own.)
Here is my birth story -- (too bad, i'm not a great story teller)
Last Tuesday the 24th I had a drs appointment to see if I had made any progress. Up to the appointment I had been doing everything from walking constantly, drinking and eating pineapple, drinking weird concoctions, and rolling on a yoga ball. I just didn't want my pregnancy to end in a c-section! At the appointment, my doctor told me that I only dilated 1 cm, and he striped the membrane while checking (OUCH!). He asked if i could be at the hospital that night to start the inducing process, because I would have my baby "tomorrow." And so it began.
I can't even describe the overwhelming feeling I had on the drive home. everyone has been texting day after day after day asking how i am and if there has been any sign of him coming... and day after day i would have to respond.. nope nothing! So now it was my turn to finally tell everyone............... it's time! Once the responses started coming in all i could do was just not respond, not look at my phone, just take that moment to take in the lasts parts of being at home and pregnant. i thought about the whole thing, the start the middle, the whole thing coming to an end. everything i have stood for was coming down to this. Ready, or not, here Laken comes.
The first night in the hospital was great. That was the night they started the medicine process to soften my cervix before the pitocin starts the next day. I ended up getting back to some of the people that had texted me or called -- I started to feel better. My mother painted my fingernails and we just spent time watching TV. My sister Laina, cousin tiff, and very dear friend Kayla stopped by just to give me words of encouragement and just show support. (Love them four!)
Wednesday Morning... the pitocin began, as well as the contractions and the people visiting. that is a deadly combination. especially for me. i didn't even want to speak to most people that came in. I would just stare at them when they'd ask me questions. I didn't want to take anything for pain, not until it got really bad. However, Shoemaker (my doctor) came in a broke my water... that was a different experience. ugh. Contractions got worse and then they decided to do the epidural. Not a bad experience, btw. didn't hurt. The nurse held me while i held a pillow. We said jokes, it wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be.
My doctor checked me again at 6PM. He told me that I was at 4 cm, to me that was exciting news. To him, he said that If I didn't progress within the next hour that he would have to go into a c-section. The nurse ended up coming in and she tried helping me by rotating me on the bed to help move him down. The hour ended and she was told to check me... she reported back to the dr that she thinks i progressed alittle, but it didn't matter. Shoemaker called it... I would have to go into a cesarian.
At that time i wasn't talking very much, but you could tell everyone was trying to console me and make sure that i was ok with it. at that point, it didn't matter. i cried because i figured it'd be hard without a partner to recover, but there wasn't anything i could do. i elected my sister Laina to be in the room with me during the surgery and my mother to be with Laken in the nursery when they weighed, measured, and bathed him. it worked out perfectly. my sister was the most awesome cheerlearder talking me through everything. saying how Laken was almost there, and when she could see him. How did she manager to look so great with a mask, shower cap, and scrubs... i don't know, but she was pretty to look and and calming. the whole time i was on the surgery table I was shaking! i kept praying, reading "Lord Gob, please just calm my body" which worked immensely!
laken soon arrived, and i had no clue where he went. next thing i know my sister is calling me from an adjoining room asking me if i could see him. i didn't until the nurse stepped aside and there he was. the baby that was apart of me was so far away. it hurt. they soon brought him over to me just long enough for me to kiss him twice and touch his face.
i went into recovery, which i clearly didn't need... i talked the whole time and begged for ice chips! i was later wheeled into my room as i waiting for the arrival of my little man. my family was all surrounded, who had already saw him get bathed and had little stories to tell me, waiting too. they were going to see him for a little bit and then give us time to finally be together. and that is exactly what happened. shortly after he got there we did skin to skin followed by our first breast feeding session. i was in love, i am in love!
thursday and friday was filled with visitors and learning. i couldn't be anymore grateful for all the people that stopped by and for the staff at bay area! it was a great experience and i wouldn't change a thing. i can't wait to share stories of he and i together. and the things that i have learned and will learn.
after our first week together... i have learned that things don't ever go as expected and you have to be able to overcome life's challenges and always be open minded to a change in plans. its been a tough week, but i wouldn't change it for anything.
until the next time i can get a chance to write in here. (which i hope is very soon!)
very much picture heavy: (sorry)
tuesday night... being pampered for the last time as a pregnant women. (my last drinks of water for - FOREVER!!)
my adorable sister getting ready for the show
my mom waiting for the nursery action after the surgery
introducing.... LAKEN!!!!!
laken's view of his mommy from the other room
getting "cleaned" up to come see mommy
FINALLY seeing my bubby.
i wished my arms were strong enough... i'd of snatched him away from the nurse. i wanted him so bad.
proud nana!
thats my big boy. :)
watching crowd
happy family and friends
i think in this picture i'm just amazed at what i made.
i looooooove him.
soaking it all in
maw maw
his nana who he loves oh so much!
my little ball of flesh
after his photoshoot for new born pictures
just hanging
miss sarah (blurry baby)
mrs val col (weird looking baby)
christina holding laken, thinking of marty.
cousins finally meeting one another. look how into it squid is. i love it!
baby squid... he's a looker!!
grandma rogers
miss maris!
my aunt diana
family picture
after seeing the pictures today.. those ears make lake look like a girl, but i think he is adorable anyway!
tori (well.. my arm is getting tired.)
tiffskiff! she helped me tons at the hospital and she even stayed with me one night. she'd of probably breastfed the baby if she could... thats how much she wanted to help. (THANKS A TON!!)
mrs. jamie :)
our going home picture. :)
i am glad, happy, ecstatic to introduce to you... my prince, and a future lucky girls prince charming.
I am so glad to be back from the hospital and in my own element, but I weirdly wish that I could just rent a room and stay there with this baby! This first week of his life has been the most emotional week I've ever had in my entire life. (that mainly has to do with breast feeding, and that is a going to be a blog of its own.)
Here is my birth story -- (too bad, i'm not a great story teller)
Last Tuesday the 24th I had a drs appointment to see if I had made any progress. Up to the appointment I had been doing everything from walking constantly, drinking and eating pineapple, drinking weird concoctions, and rolling on a yoga ball. I just didn't want my pregnancy to end in a c-section! At the appointment, my doctor told me that I only dilated 1 cm, and he striped the membrane while checking (OUCH!). He asked if i could be at the hospital that night to start the inducing process, because I would have my baby "tomorrow." And so it began.
I can't even describe the overwhelming feeling I had on the drive home. everyone has been texting day after day after day asking how i am and if there has been any sign of him coming... and day after day i would have to respond.. nope nothing! So now it was my turn to finally tell everyone............... it's time! Once the responses started coming in all i could do was just not respond, not look at my phone, just take that moment to take in the lasts parts of being at home and pregnant. i thought about the whole thing, the start the middle, the whole thing coming to an end. everything i have stood for was coming down to this. Ready, or not, here Laken comes.
The first night in the hospital was great. That was the night they started the medicine process to soften my cervix before the pitocin starts the next day. I ended up getting back to some of the people that had texted me or called -- I started to feel better. My mother painted my fingernails and we just spent time watching TV. My sister Laina, cousin tiff, and very dear friend Kayla stopped by just to give me words of encouragement and just show support. (Love them four!)
Wednesday Morning... the pitocin began, as well as the contractions and the people visiting. that is a deadly combination. especially for me. i didn't even want to speak to most people that came in. I would just stare at them when they'd ask me questions. I didn't want to take anything for pain, not until it got really bad. However, Shoemaker (my doctor) came in a broke my water... that was a different experience. ugh. Contractions got worse and then they decided to do the epidural. Not a bad experience, btw. didn't hurt. The nurse held me while i held a pillow. We said jokes, it wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be.
My doctor checked me again at 6PM. He told me that I was at 4 cm, to me that was exciting news. To him, he said that If I didn't progress within the next hour that he would have to go into a c-section. The nurse ended up coming in and she tried helping me by rotating me on the bed to help move him down. The hour ended and she was told to check me... she reported back to the dr that she thinks i progressed alittle, but it didn't matter. Shoemaker called it... I would have to go into a cesarian.
At that time i wasn't talking very much, but you could tell everyone was trying to console me and make sure that i was ok with it. at that point, it didn't matter. i cried because i figured it'd be hard without a partner to recover, but there wasn't anything i could do. i elected my sister Laina to be in the room with me during the surgery and my mother to be with Laken in the nursery when they weighed, measured, and bathed him. it worked out perfectly. my sister was the most awesome cheerlearder talking me through everything. saying how Laken was almost there, and when she could see him. How did she manager to look so great with a mask, shower cap, and scrubs... i don't know, but she was pretty to look and and calming. the whole time i was on the surgery table I was shaking! i kept praying, reading "Lord Gob, please just calm my body" which worked immensely!
laken soon arrived, and i had no clue where he went. next thing i know my sister is calling me from an adjoining room asking me if i could see him. i didn't until the nurse stepped aside and there he was. the baby that was apart of me was so far away. it hurt. they soon brought him over to me just long enough for me to kiss him twice and touch his face.
i went into recovery, which i clearly didn't need... i talked the whole time and begged for ice chips! i was later wheeled into my room as i waiting for the arrival of my little man. my family was all surrounded, who had already saw him get bathed and had little stories to tell me, waiting too. they were going to see him for a little bit and then give us time to finally be together. and that is exactly what happened. shortly after he got there we did skin to skin followed by our first breast feeding session. i was in love, i am in love!
thursday and friday was filled with visitors and learning. i couldn't be anymore grateful for all the people that stopped by and for the staff at bay area! it was a great experience and i wouldn't change a thing. i can't wait to share stories of he and i together. and the things that i have learned and will learn.
after our first week together... i have learned that things don't ever go as expected and you have to be able to overcome life's challenges and always be open minded to a change in plans. its been a tough week, but i wouldn't change it for anything.
until the next time i can get a chance to write in here. (which i hope is very soon!)
very much picture heavy: (sorry)
Friday, April 20, 2012
39w5d... its time to get serious
here is the scoop... 24 hours stands in between me and my due date.
whats up doc? well, my doctor told me on tuesday that i have a crummy uterus that doesn't want to dilate. He asked me to come in on Friday to get an ultrasound, (today - which i did) to see if the baby is weighing too big. He isn't. He is a normal sized bubkens coming in at seven pounds twelve ounces. However with my uterus being a jerk and not wanting to dilate brings into question a cesarian. :( I've went throughout the whole pregnancy with nothing wrong except for swollen feet the past month... now I am faced with the 50% chance of a c-section! KILL ME NOW!! (please don't). They're just worried that if they induce that there is a chance that I will not dilate enough to have my monster baby.
I nearly cried when i was talking to my nurse practitioner today about the possibilities... just because i reminded her how i don't have a partner and it will be difficult. Her, being the sweetheart that she is said.. it will be more of a challenge, but you can get through it and you will. A little reassurance really does help (anyone who is in need!).
My cousin tiffany described birth this way... "Its like you're on a roller-coaster and its going up that first big hill and you want out, but you know you're not going out the way you came." I loved how she put that, but I just didn't know my roller-coaster ride might be a little bit more scary.
Tomorrow I will be in my nikes walking as much as I possibly can. I haven't at all been the impatient pregnant person that is just dying to get their baby out, but if it keeps me from cutting open my skin (which a women who has had a c-section before said... "you can smell the smell of burning flesh when you're cutting you open." NO THANK YOU) then I'll do it!! They already know about my swollen feet, and they don't see it as a problem. Walking buddies anyone??
Since my original plan for Sunday was to give birth to my child and it doesn't seem like that will be the case (being I am scheduled for another drs appointment on tuesday)... I will have to make new Earth Day plans to keep my mind off of it. I have a idea... stay tuned.
But for now... any remedies to start labor?
Monday, April 16, 2012
guest post, from my cousin tiffany
this almost made me cry last night when she sent it to me, and this almost made me cry again today re-reading it!
my cousin (she is my age - 25 days less than I) and just had a baby boy feb 21st of this year. our boys will roughly be 2 months apart. she has been my best friend forever! and the first definition i've ever had a of a friend.
I know I should of asked permission before posting this, but I am gonna do it anyway!
I admire my cousin so much, and i am so proud of the women/mother she has become!
So this is my first "guest post" and she isn't even a blogger herself. she wrote me this in an email as if she had a blog.
And here goes...
Things I have learned from being a mom for 2 months:
1. It is the most rewarding thing in the world when you figure out what your baby wants. It can be frustrating and confusing when the only communication you have between you and your babe is a cry or a whine. You will go through that list of things he needs and it will be the very last thing you try. But its all worth it when he looks at you with this face of relief that you figured it out.
2. Everyone is different. Not only will your parenting style be different but your baby will be different from other babies. No one is "right", just different. I was told by a mom that it was crazy to her that I don't have Sid on a schedule. My belief is that Sid will do what he wants when he wants and that makes a happy baby. Hers was different and said her baby was cranky when he wasn't on a schedule. That doesn't make either of us wrong or that we didn't respect each others opinions... just different.
3. It can be scary. I cried when I thought my baby had a fever. Turns out he just didn't need such a big blanket with long pajamas. I rode in the car with him not wearing a seatbelt! He was in his carseat but didn't have it buckled. I panicked when I found out! Now I'm very watchful, but I can't turn back the clock and by the grace of God we were okay.
4. Not everyone is helpful. Luckily, most are and most want to be. Even strangers. The lady who waxed my eyebrows did it while he was crying and fussy the whole time without caring and even carried his carseat out to the car for me so I could feed him. But some people get really annoyed by newborns and just don't care. People will want to hold and coddle your baby but then the second they cry its back to you. Others will expect you to treat them like a guest and make sure you take care of them while taking care of a helpless newborn. Others will get offended when you don't take their advice or when they don't want to listen to how you want your baby to be taken care of.
5. You may not like your body. You will feel like you are thin but the mirror will tell you something else. People may be harsh. It is unfortunate that people are not more sensitive about this issue. You will be very proud about what you have done and keep that in mind. I was super pale and felt like I had no color in my skin for weeks. I smelled bad no matter how many showers I took. Hot breast milk plus sweat is not a pleasant perfume. Not to mention baby poop smell too!
6. If things aren't working for you... change it! We went through a million different nighttime routines before we were able to find one that worked. And I'm hoping within the next month we can change it again. You are in control. Well laken will be calling the shots but you play a huge part too. If he hates his crib that only means coming up with creative ways for him to like it or completly changing his sleep situation.
7. Remember you have mom instinct too. It is cool to have this extra little sense you never used before. It's like you just gained a super power. Don't stress yourself out, but If you don't think something isn't right, it probably isn't. If you think laken is uncomfortable, he probably is. Go with your instinct. We were programmed for this.
8. Lastly, love as much as possible. Love laken, love everyone around you, and love yourself. I could say cliche things like get enough sleep, nap when he does, get all the help you can, blah blah blah... but EVERYONE will tell you that. The reason they tell you is because they love you. It always feels good so love them back. Smile, take a deep breath and just say "yeah, I'll do that, thanks!" But the truth is, you'll sleep when you can, your not dumb. But being a new mother means you have just met one of the greatest loves of your life and like every new exciting relationship you break all those rules and stay up late, get drunk off the look of his eyes, and fall madly in love like nothing else in the world matters.
I love you dearly and seriously could not send more love and positive feelings your way. If you are anything like me you will soon be in that hospital bed thanking God imensly for the joy of life that he just given you. You are going to be such an amazing mother.
Love Tiffany aka Taz
my cousin (she is my age - 25 days less than I) and just had a baby boy feb 21st of this year. our boys will roughly be 2 months apart. she has been my best friend forever! and the first definition i've ever had a of a friend.
I know I should of asked permission before posting this, but I am gonna do it anyway!
I admire my cousin so much, and i am so proud of the women/mother she has become!
So this is my first "guest post" and she isn't even a blogger herself. she wrote me this in an email as if she had a blog.
And here goes...
Things I have learned from being a mom for 2 months:
1. It is the most rewarding thing in the world when you figure out what your baby wants. It can be frustrating and confusing when the only communication you have between you and your babe is a cry or a whine. You will go through that list of things he needs and it will be the very last thing you try. But its all worth it when he looks at you with this face of relief that you figured it out.
2. Everyone is different. Not only will your parenting style be different but your baby will be different from other babies. No one is "right", just different. I was told by a mom that it was crazy to her that I don't have Sid on a schedule. My belief is that Sid will do what he wants when he wants and that makes a happy baby. Hers was different and said her baby was cranky when he wasn't on a schedule. That doesn't make either of us wrong or that we didn't respect each others opinions... just different.
3. It can be scary. I cried when I thought my baby had a fever. Turns out he just didn't need such a big blanket with long pajamas. I rode in the car with him not wearing a seatbelt! He was in his carseat but didn't have it buckled. I panicked when I found out! Now I'm very watchful, but I can't turn back the clock and by the grace of God we were okay.
4. Not everyone is helpful. Luckily, most are and most want to be. Even strangers. The lady who waxed my eyebrows did it while he was crying and fussy the whole time without caring and even carried his carseat out to the car for me so I could feed him. But some people get really annoyed by newborns and just don't care. People will want to hold and coddle your baby but then the second they cry its back to you. Others will expect you to treat them like a guest and make sure you take care of them while taking care of a helpless newborn. Others will get offended when you don't take their advice or when they don't want to listen to how you want your baby to be taken care of.
5. You may not like your body. You will feel like you are thin but the mirror will tell you something else. People may be harsh. It is unfortunate that people are not more sensitive about this issue. You will be very proud about what you have done and keep that in mind. I was super pale and felt like I had no color in my skin for weeks. I smelled bad no matter how many showers I took. Hot breast milk plus sweat is not a pleasant perfume. Not to mention baby poop smell too!
6. If things aren't working for you... change it! We went through a million different nighttime routines before we were able to find one that worked. And I'm hoping within the next month we can change it again. You are in control. Well laken will be calling the shots but you play a huge part too. If he hates his crib that only means coming up with creative ways for him to like it or completly changing his sleep situation.
7. Remember you have mom instinct too. It is cool to have this extra little sense you never used before. It's like you just gained a super power. Don't stress yourself out, but If you don't think something isn't right, it probably isn't. If you think laken is uncomfortable, he probably is. Go with your instinct. We were programmed for this.
8. Lastly, love as much as possible. Love laken, love everyone around you, and love yourself. I could say cliche things like get enough sleep, nap when he does, get all the help you can, blah blah blah... but EVERYONE will tell you that. The reason they tell you is because they love you. It always feels good so love them back. Smile, take a deep breath and just say "yeah, I'll do that, thanks!" But the truth is, you'll sleep when you can, your not dumb. But being a new mother means you have just met one of the greatest loves of your life and like every new exciting relationship you break all those rules and stay up late, get drunk off the look of his eyes, and fall madly in love like nothing else in the world matters.
I love you dearly and seriously could not send more love and positive feelings your way. If you are anything like me you will soon be in that hospital bed thanking God imensly for the joy of life that he just given you. You are going to be such an amazing mother.
Love Tiffany aka Taz
Sunday, April 15, 2012
hospital bag take 2
welcome new followers!! glad to have you! :)
ok, here we go....
i am the ultimate procrastinator when it comes to packing. this hospital bag thing isn't coming easy. forever i knew what i was going to put in both the diaper bag and my bag... now i am staring at two bags with practically nothing! (except for Laken's newborn wardrobe!) i need help!
as far as my bag... i bought a bunch of travel toiletries. not my usual stuff, but i figured that if i have to frantically pack and can't grab what i use these things will suffice. i also am bringing my motherhood nightgown that i got from macy's. i bought matching socks, and by matching i'll be looking like avril lavigne or a person from a dr. suess book. but my awful swollen-can-only-wear-flip-flops-right-now feet won't be showing. so that'd perfect with me!
as far as laken... i have the diaper bag packed with diaper bag things & i believe i overloaded on clothes!
here at the things not shown, but packed:
for mommy: camera & camera charger, reading material (my kindle is usually on me), essentials for breast feeding (including lanolin, pads, feeding cover)
for baby: his 1st aid kit (i'll be at a hospital - not necessary), diapers (again... i'll be at the hospital - not necessary) wipes, receiving blanket as well as a thicker blanket (its april, soon to be may - probably not necessary!), boppy, bibs, & burp clothes and hmm... other diaper bag things that you'll probably not need at a hospital or in the first couple days!
do any other mommies out there have any suggestions of what i should bring?? as this day comes to an end... i have 6 days til my due date... i think its about time i have these bags packed!
ok, here we go....
i am the ultimate procrastinator when it comes to packing. this hospital bag thing isn't coming easy. forever i knew what i was going to put in both the diaper bag and my bag... now i am staring at two bags with practically nothing! (except for Laken's newborn wardrobe!) i need help!
as far as my bag... i bought a bunch of travel toiletries. not my usual stuff, but i figured that if i have to frantically pack and can't grab what i use these things will suffice. i also am bringing my motherhood nightgown that i got from macy's. i bought matching socks, and by matching i'll be looking like avril lavigne or a person from a dr. suess book. but my awful swollen-can-only-wear-flip-flops-right-now feet won't be showing. so that'd perfect with me!
as far as laken... i have the diaper bag packed with diaper bag things & i believe i overloaded on clothes!
here at the things not shown, but packed:
for mommy: camera & camera charger, reading material (my kindle is usually on me), essentials for breast feeding (including lanolin, pads, feeding cover)
for baby: his 1st aid kit (i'll be at a hospital - not necessary), diapers (again... i'll be at the hospital - not necessary) wipes, receiving blanket as well as a thicker blanket (its april, soon to be may - probably not necessary!), boppy, bibs, & burp clothes and hmm... other diaper bag things that you'll probably not need at a hospital or in the first couple days!
do any other mommies out there have any suggestions of what i should bring?? as this day comes to an end... i have 6 days til my due date... i think its about time i have these bags packed!
Friday, April 13, 2012
dear laken
dear baby boy laken...
you're the best decision i have ever made. i honestly believe you were my little gift from god. i've only seen your face a couple times on a computer screen. your little yawns are my favorite memories of you so far. i can't wait to kiss your little button nose and nibble on your little tiny toes. you have made me become a women that i was no where near becoming. you've moved me and pushed me before i ever even felt you move or push inside me! you will never know how much i already love you before i have ever seen you. i just hope that i can give you everything that you desire in life, and if i can't... i am going to try or root you on while you go seek after it. i just want you to know, and this will not be a secret - it will be quiet apparent, you may not have a "normal" family unit, but let me tell you... you've got the people that support me and that is better than the "typical." you have been blessed by so many, and you will continue to be. i can't wait for you to meet everyone... i can't wait for everyone to meet you. most of all... i can't wait to know your favorite foods, your favorite activities, the clothes you pick out for yourself, the music you will listen to, what you'll believe in, the way you handle your anger, if my hugs and kisses will heal your wounds. baby boy... i can't wait to know the you-est you you will be.
i love you to heaven and back.
love,
mom
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Being an Eagle, Day 1, 2, & 3
Here is my first installment of "Being an eagle, avoiding the duck."
4/1/12
The message at church today was very inspiring. Pastor Bill was talking about not letting opportunities pass you by. Sometimes there is never a perfect time to say what needs to be said. Take advantage of every relationship. The point that he brought across that really stuck with me was…
“Live your life in such a way that you attract others to what you believe.”
I want to be the type of person that people look to and feel inspired. Part of why I am writing this blog. People struggle all of the time; I struggle all of the time with issues that I know most women have dealt with or have to deal with. I am trying to bring myself closer to God to give me strength and I am trying to bring myself closer to others who share the same heart as me so that I can learn from them and grow.
4/2/12
The best part of my day has been my awesome trip to the Doctors office. They kept saying the word Perfect. Laken is measuring at 6 lbs 13 oz. He’s practicing his breathing, yada yada. He’s Perfect. My blood pressure is good, you’re gaining the right amount of weight, you’re blah blah blah. Everything is Perfect. The baby feels like he might be 7lbs or 7.5lbs, either way he is doing great. Everything is Perfect! I hate to rub it in to everyone who has ever had a child, but mine is Perfect! (already!)
(I could be a duck and talk about the customer service issues at wal-mart, but I am trying to be the eagle!!)
4/3/12
I initially thought that today would be the day that I would talk about a friend of mine who lets the stress of work set the standards for their day. Well, with the progression of MY day I have definitely found myself in some predicaments.
“Lack of Money is the root of all evil.” – George Bernard Shaw
Let’s just say that today I have talked with the hospital, my bank, and my x. The only helpful one has been the hospital. Another thing is let’s just say that I was a bickering “duck” to two of them and not to the one that deserves it the very most.
“Don’t tell me what your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” – James W. Frick
I went on my lunch break and cried my little Chinese eyes out. The ducts in these bad boys aren’t afraid to be used. Sometimes when I get angry I just want to bang my hands on something, like a door or a table top. I know that that anger was sparked from having a wannabe WWF wrestler as a brother. One wrong sentence to him and you were body slammed to the ground. However today my hands banged together and I talked to the sky. “Lord, please help me.” Then they wiped my tears. Of course things aren’t fixed without trying or action. Finally I calmed and brought myself to a decent manor to start making moves into a comfortable spot. I chalked up my losses and I’m looking at what I have to work with.
“The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money.” – Thomas Jefferson
Sometimes you get in these spots of life where your whole world feels like it is tumbling down, but then you look to the Lord and he is still standing still, and you’re still in his hands. I’ll get through this sticky mess. Everything is going to be just fine.
4/1/12
The message at church today was very inspiring. Pastor Bill was talking about not letting opportunities pass you by. Sometimes there is never a perfect time to say what needs to be said. Take advantage of every relationship. The point that he brought across that really stuck with me was…
“Live your life in such a way that you attract others to what you believe.”
I want to be the type of person that people look to and feel inspired. Part of why I am writing this blog. People struggle all of the time; I struggle all of the time with issues that I know most women have dealt with or have to deal with. I am trying to bring myself closer to God to give me strength and I am trying to bring myself closer to others who share the same heart as me so that I can learn from them and grow.
4/2/12
The best part of my day has been my awesome trip to the Doctors office. They kept saying the word Perfect. Laken is measuring at 6 lbs 13 oz. He’s practicing his breathing, yada yada. He’s Perfect. My blood pressure is good, you’re gaining the right amount of weight, you’re blah blah blah. Everything is Perfect. The baby feels like he might be 7lbs or 7.5lbs, either way he is doing great. Everything is Perfect! I hate to rub it in to everyone who has ever had a child, but mine is Perfect! (already!)
(I could be a duck and talk about the customer service issues at wal-mart, but I am trying to be the eagle!!)
4/3/12
I initially thought that today would be the day that I would talk about a friend of mine who lets the stress of work set the standards for their day. Well, with the progression of MY day I have definitely found myself in some predicaments.
“Lack of Money is the root of all evil.” – George Bernard Shaw
Let’s just say that today I have talked with the hospital, my bank, and my x. The only helpful one has been the hospital. Another thing is let’s just say that I was a bickering “duck” to two of them and not to the one that deserves it the very most.
“Don’t tell me what your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” – James W. Frick
I went on my lunch break and cried my little Chinese eyes out. The ducts in these bad boys aren’t afraid to be used. Sometimes when I get angry I just want to bang my hands on something, like a door or a table top. I know that that anger was sparked from having a wannabe WWF wrestler as a brother. One wrong sentence to him and you were body slammed to the ground. However today my hands banged together and I talked to the sky. “Lord, please help me.” Then they wiped my tears. Of course things aren’t fixed without trying or action. Finally I calmed and brought myself to a decent manor to start making moves into a comfortable spot. I chalked up my losses and I’m looking at what I have to work with.
“The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money.” – Thomas Jefferson
Sometimes you get in these spots of life where your whole world feels like it is tumbling down, but then you look to the Lord and he is still standing still, and you’re still in his hands. I’ll get through this sticky mess. Everything is going to be just fine.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
37 weeks
I am 37 weeks and i am scared. goodness... i only have 3 weeks left to go and i have never been a parent before. what did i get myself into?! i honestly feel lucky though. i don't have to compromise the parenting that i want for my child with someone else. there is no give or take here... just little ol me deciding. i hear alot from older women how i am going to miss being pregnant. so right now i am going to write the things i will miss and the thing i hope to forget!
1. the movement.. feeling your child who you're so longing to hold move inside of you is the most amazing feeling! especially that first kick. (my friend Jason felt my tummy this evening and was so weirded out when he felt laken move under his palm that he knocked on wood in hopes that he'd never know how it feels to have a baby inside of him. i just feel bad that a man will never experience this blessing.)
2. which brings me to number two.. the belly rubs. i love when people massage my belly. especially if they have the fake nails. feels goooood.
3. nesting. nesting is so much fun, you're preparing for a new life to come into this world. you're setting the environment for this little meatloaf to grow.
4. the blessings of gifts. it was an overwhelming feeling getting so many gifts throughout the passed couple of months. this baby, who means the world to me already, has people who already love him and just want him to flourish and have things that he needs. i have never in my life been more grateful for anything than now.
5. being overwhelming proud with myself. i have worked hard to have the things i have for laken and myself. i am proud that i haven't had one cent or any extended hand from the "father's" side of the family. i have kicked-ass and have been on a roll. i was no where near being this determined about anything until i have became a single parent. it is rewarding, and i know its about to get overwhelming. i may finally start cursing the fathers name in a month, but right now.. i'm good. i'm proud. its the best feeling. :)
things i will not miss:
1. Acid Reflux.... :'(
2. guys who say.. "man you're fat!" thinking that that is a funny way of telling me that i am getting big or about to pop... i just want to respond, Gosh you're ignorant.
3. the urge to throw up when i haven't eaten.
4. feeling so worn out by the time 9 o'clock rolls around.
5. the swelling i've been encountering this past week.
....now i'll share with you tonight.
kayla, a good friend, has finally come back to town and tonight we had a dinner to "welcome" her back. its so great to have her back, i have missed having a girl friend that will just come over and hang out. i'm also so proud of her! she has completed training as a customs and border protection agent!
here is a picture of my friends. they are all beautiful girls who have overcome so many obstacles in life and are just great! hard working moms, graduates and careers, newly weds, and go gettin'-it students! they're awesome! (sarah is missing from the picture)
bianca, kayla, valerie, myself, marla, and christina
xo
Thursday, March 29, 2012
BIGGEST STRESS::
I have been putting this off and putting this off. I have no signs of labor - nothing! but it would be a smart thing at 36 weeks and 3 days to get things on the ball. I've always been a speedy packer, so I guess I assume that while I am going into labor I can pack a bag too! now THAT is some great ambition if you ask me. Today I told myself was going to be THE DAY. well... this is all that I have accomplished:
-stuffed about 7 outfits in my diaper bag... FAIL. (I should only probably take about 2 or 3)
-threw a swaddle me in there for good measures
-I have transfered all of the toiletries i have boughten from the sack i got from the store to a make-shift shower bag (which hopefully i find a real one before)... I could of done that 4 weeks ago when i bought the stuff.
-I put my boppy pillow on the car-seat. yep, I moved a pillow all of 5 feet! and NO, the car-seat isn't already buckled up in the car!
I also posted about how i haven't packed my bag in this pregnancy facebook group i'm in, and i made the type face for when i DO actually get the darn thing packed. (see above)
maybe i'm just thinking if i don't pack the bag then i won't have to go to the hospital any time soon. and i have my fingers crossed i make it passed the 13th.
xo
Sunday, March 18, 2012
DIY nursing covers
nursing covers are basically backwards capes... and why wouldn't they be? you're basically a superhero to your little baby who you've given life and are providing nutrients to. you, being as awesome as you are, you deserve a cape superhero!
i registered for nursing covers.. and i never got 'em. i understand completely though. most of the time girls give up on breast-feeding and who wants to buy a $35 "sheet" for something that is more trial and error than anything.
well... i am determined to breast-feed. i am going to try till my hearts content. anyhow, i am a VERY VERY modest person. sometimes its disgusting how uncomfortable i can be about things. anyway, when i didn't receive a nursing cover i was totally fine with making one myself. i googled how to do it and stumbled upon prudent baby's DIY Nursing Cover. i am not much of a reader when it comes to instructions, but i didn't really need to with the pictures they provided. instead of using the "boning" (which i got a funny look when i asked the fabric lady at walmart- but then again... i did only go to walmart) i took it back old school style and used pipe cleaner! i used four ands twisted them together to make the 14" i think the instructions called for (again... didn't really read). i am pretty excited with how it turned out. i bought another kind of fabric to make another, but these days... i favor naps on my spare time (which is limited).
i registered for nursing covers.. and i never got 'em. i understand completely though. most of the time girls give up on breast-feeding and who wants to buy a $35 "sheet" for something that is more trial and error than anything.
well... i am determined to breast-feed. i am going to try till my hearts content. anyhow, i am a VERY VERY modest person. sometimes its disgusting how uncomfortable i can be about things. anyway, when i didn't receive a nursing cover i was totally fine with making one myself. i googled how to do it and stumbled upon prudent baby's DIY Nursing Cover. i am not much of a reader when it comes to instructions, but i didn't really need to with the pictures they provided. instead of using the "boning" (which i got a funny look when i asked the fabric lady at walmart- but then again... i did only go to walmart) i took it back old school style and used pipe cleaner! i used four ands twisted them together to make the 14" i think the instructions called for (again... didn't really read). i am pretty excited with how it turned out. i bought another kind of fabric to make another, but these days... i favor naps on my spare time (which is limited).
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