Friday, April 20, 2012

39w5d... its time to get serious

boy oh boy... my boy loves it in there! has anyone told you that you have a crummy uterus? well, my doctor told me i did... but i have little baby laken inside of it who most likely begs a differ.

here is the scoop... 24 hours stands in between me and my due date.

whats up doc? well, my doctor told me on tuesday that i have a crummy uterus that doesn't want to dilate. He asked me to come in on Friday to get an ultrasound, (today - which i did) to see if the baby is weighing too big. He isn't. He is a normal sized bubkens coming in at seven pounds twelve ounces. However with my uterus being a jerk and not wanting to dilate brings into question a cesarian. :( I've went throughout the whole pregnancy with nothing wrong except for swollen feet the past month... now I am faced with the 50% chance of a c-section! KILL ME NOW!! (please don't). They're just worried that if they induce that there is a chance that I will not dilate enough to have my monster baby.

I nearly cried when i was talking to my nurse practitioner today about the possibilities... just because i reminded her how i don't have a partner and it will be difficult. Her, being the sweetheart that she is said.. it will be more of a challenge, but you can get through it and you will. A little reassurance really does help (anyone who is in need!).

My cousin tiffany described birth this way... "Its like you're on a roller-coaster and its going up that first big hill and you want out, but you know you're not going out the way you came." I loved how she put that, but I just didn't know my roller-coaster ride might be a little bit more scary.

Tomorrow I will be in my nikes walking as much as I possibly can. I haven't at all been the impatient pregnant person that is just dying to get their baby out, but if it keeps me from cutting open my skin (which a women who has had a c-section before said... "you can smell the smell of burning flesh when you're cutting you open." NO THANK YOU) then I'll do it!! They already know about my swollen feet, and they don't see it as a problem. Walking buddies anyone??

Since my original plan for Sunday was to give birth to my child and it doesn't seem like that will be the case (being I am scheduled for another drs appointment on tuesday)... I will have to make new Earth Day plans to keep my mind off of it. I have a idea... stay tuned.

But for now... any remedies to start labor?

Monday, April 16, 2012

guest post, from my cousin tiffany

this almost made me cry last night when she sent it to me, and this almost made me cry again today re-reading it!
my cousin (she is my age - 25 days less than I) and just had a baby boy feb 21st of this year. our boys will roughly be 2 months apart. she has been my best friend forever! and the first definition i've ever had a of a friend.

I know I should of asked permission before posting this, but I am gonna do it anyway!
I admire my cousin so much, and i am so proud of the women/mother she has become!

So this is my first "guest post" and she isn't even a blogger herself. she wrote me this in an email as if she had a blog.
And here goes...

Things I have learned from being a mom for 2 months:

1. It is the most rewarding thing in the world when you figure out what your baby wants. It can be frustrating and confusing when the only communication you have between you and your babe is a cry or a whine. You will go through that list of things he needs and it will be the very last thing you try. But its all worth it when he looks at you with this face of relief that you figured it out.

2. Everyone is different. Not only will your parenting style be different but your baby will be different from other babies. No one is "right", just different. I was told by a mom that it was crazy to her that I don't have Sid on a schedule. My belief is that Sid will do what he wants when he wants and that makes a happy baby. Hers was different and said her baby was cranky when he wasn't on a schedule. That doesn't make either of us wrong or that we didn't respect each others opinions... just different.

3. It can be scary. I cried when I thought my baby had a fever. Turns out he just didn't need such a big blanket with long pajamas. I rode in the car with him not wearing a seatbelt! He was in his carseat but didn't have it buckled. I panicked when I found out! Now I'm very watchful, but I can't turn back the clock and by the grace of God we were okay.

4. Not everyone is helpful. Luckily, most are and most want to be. Even strangers. The lady who waxed my eyebrows did it while he was crying and fussy the whole time without caring and even carried his carseat out to the car for me so I could feed him. But some people get really annoyed by newborns and just don't care. People will want to hold and coddle your baby but then the second they cry its back to you. Others will expect you to treat them like a guest and make sure you take care of them while taking care of a helpless newborn. Others will get offended when you don't take their advice or when they don't want to listen to how you want your baby to be taken care of.

5. You may not like your body. You will feel like you are thin but the mirror will tell you something else. People may be harsh. It is unfortunate that people are not more sensitive about this issue. You will be very proud about what you have done and keep that in mind. I was super pale and felt like I had no color in my skin for weeks. I smelled bad no matter how many showers I took. Hot breast milk plus sweat is not a pleasant perfume. Not to mention baby poop smell too!

6. If things aren't working for you... change it! We went through a million different nighttime routines before we were able to find one that worked. And I'm hoping within the next month we can change it again. You are in control. Well laken will be calling the shots but you play a huge part too. If he hates his crib that only means coming up with creative ways for him to like it or completly changing his sleep situation.

7. Remember you have mom instinct too. It is cool to have this extra little sense you never used before. It's like you just gained a super power. Don't stress yourself out, but If you don't think something isn't right, it probably isn't. If you think laken is uncomfortable, he probably is. Go with your instinct. We were programmed for this.

8. Lastly, love as much as possible. Love laken, love everyone around you, and love yourself. I could say cliche things like get enough sleep, nap when he does, get all the help you can, blah blah blah... but EVERYONE will tell you that. The reason they tell you is because they love you. It always feels good so love them back. Smile, take a deep breath and just say "yeah, I'll do that, thanks!" But the truth is, you'll sleep when you can, your not dumb. But being a new mother means you have just met one of the greatest loves of your life and like every new exciting relationship you break all those rules and stay up late, get drunk off the look of his eyes, and fall madly in love like nothing else in the world matters.

I love you dearly and seriously could not send more love and positive feelings your way. If you are anything like me you will soon be in that hospital bed thanking God imensly for the joy of life that he just given you. You are going to be such an amazing mother.

Love Tiffany aka Taz

Sunday, April 15, 2012

hospital bag take 2

welcome new followers!! glad to have you! :)

ok, here we go....

i am the ultimate procrastinator when it comes to packing. this hospital bag thing isn't coming easy. forever i knew what i was going to put in both the diaper bag and my bag... now i am staring at two bags with practically nothing! (except for Laken's newborn wardrobe!) i need help!

as far as my bag... i bought a bunch of travel toiletries. not my usual stuff, but i figured that if i have to frantically pack and can't grab what i use these things will suffice. i also am bringing my motherhood nightgown that i got from macy's. i bought matching socks, and by matching i'll be looking like avril lavigne or a person from a dr. suess book. but my awful swollen-can-only-wear-flip-flops-right-now feet won't be showing. so that'd perfect with me!

as far as laken... i have the diaper bag packed with diaper bag things & i believe i overloaded on clothes!

here at the things not shown, but packed:
for mommy: camera & camera charger, reading material (my kindle is usually on me), essentials for breast feeding (including lanolin, pads, feeding cover)

for baby: his 1st aid kit (i'll be at a hospital - not necessary), diapers (again... i'll be at the hospital - not necessary) wipes, receiving blanket as well as a thicker blanket (its april, soon to be may - probably not necessary!), boppy, bibs, & burp clothes and hmm... other diaper bag things that you'll probably not need at a hospital or in the first couple days!

do any other mommies out there have any suggestions of what i should bring?? as this day comes to an end... i have 6 days til my due date... i think its about time i have these bags packed!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Ultimate Blog Party

hello all -
just wanted to let you know that 5minutesformom is having a Universal Blog Party, and this is my RSVP! I would be crazy not to jump on this opportunity. i have friends that read my blog and always make their comments on the links posted to my facebook, but they're not "followers" of my blog and can't have much more interaction with it, and I think this is the perfect opportunity to reach out to others!

Here is a little bit about me to those of you who have stopped by. THANK YOU BY THE WAY! :)

1. i am a single mother-to-be from the day i found out i was pregnant!
2. becoming pregnant has pushed me into gear towards being self respecting (that was sort of a tough one for me), financially stable, stronger in faith, and someone i am finally proud of.
3. i am a former graphic design art student who is obsessed with interior design and loves keeping my hands busy! (i have a do it myself section "d.i.myself")
4. i am currently living in my small hometown, and missing my former home the little big city of austin.
5. i want to show other single women that it is ok to be single and not have to cling onto what you think you're suppose to have. there is a bigger plan for you!
6. the most exciting part of all of this is... i will most likely have my baby right when the "official party" is over!

about my blog:
my blog is newer than the little guy inside me... or well i guess he isn't little anymore... i'm due in ONE WEEK!
i plan to keep up with features i have started and i will create more along the way. so far these are my future plans for this blog:

I have a feature i posted a couple weeks ago 25 things i want to do before 25. i have a little less than a year to complete everything, and you bet your bottom dollar i will!

i plan on being holiday heavy! everyone loves holidays, and i want my son to be one of those enthusiasts!

do. it. myself section where i will post projects that i have seen on the internet and have tried myself. who knows maybe i'll make up my own projects!

since my pregnancy is coming to any end, but laken is coming.. i will definitely be talking about raising my baby! from everything that works for me, things he loves, and the ups and downs to parenting!

i have a witty sense of humor when it comes to life's little messes, and i'm always trying to give encouraging words to those who need to hear it!

come stay a while, and don't be afraid to follow!! :)

leave a comment inviting me to your blog! i'd love to make new friends!

Friday, April 13, 2012

dear laken

dear baby boy laken...
you're the best decision i have ever made. i honestly believe you were my little gift from god. i've only seen your face a couple times on a computer screen. your little yawns are my favorite memories of you so far. i can't wait to kiss your little button nose and nibble on your little tiny toes. you have made me become a women that i was no where near becoming. you've moved me and pushed me before i ever even felt you move or push inside me! you will never know how much i already love you before i have ever seen you. i just hope that i can give you everything that you desire in life, and if i can't... i am going to try or root you on while you go seek after it. i just want you to know, and this will not be a secret - it will be quiet apparent, you may not have a "normal" family unit, but let me tell you... you've got the people that support me and that is better than the "typical." you have been blessed by so many, and you will continue to be. i can't wait for you to meet everyone... i can't wait for everyone to meet you. most of all... i can't wait to know your favorite foods, your favorite activities, the clothes you pick out for yourself, the music you will listen to, what you'll believe in, the way you handle your anger, if my hugs and kisses will heal your wounds. baby boy... i can't wait to know the you-est you you will be.
i love you to heaven and back.


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

nesting or resting?

i guess i get the two of those things a little confused! i have feet the size of an elephant and i should be propped somewhere with my feet touching the sky above my heart, but do i do that? it lasts about 20 minutes, until i have to get up and do something my own self. that has just how this whole pregnancy has been, and i wouldn't know it any other way.

i don't have an amazing easter post filled with pretty little things i've made, eggs i dyed, or the goodies i found... but in preparation of the family that was going to be coming to town i did do a little last minute nesting.

i have been wanting to make a wreath for a while. of course you see the really cute ones on pinterest and i have just kept them in mind when i go to the craft stores. i finally walked by the tubing for a wreath, bought it, and definitely didn't come home straight away to work on it. however, about 3 weeks later.... i did. :)

i am not that great at reading directions i follow, but i do always use visuals.
here is how the flowers were made... i figure the rest of self explanatory.

i cut fabric into a "thick ribbon" to wrap around the wreath base. about 2 1/2 inches thick. used glue gone to hold ends in place.
the bunting was just triangles hot glued onto a thin strip of felt.
i hot glued the flowers in place as well.
ribbon tied on top to hang.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Being an Eagle, Day 1, 2, & 3

Here is my first installment of "Being an eagle, avoiding the duck."


The message at church today was very inspiring. Pastor Bill was talking about not letting opportunities pass you by. Sometimes there is never a perfect time to say what needs to be said. Take advantage of every relationship. The point that he brought across that really stuck with me was…

“Live your life in such a way that you attract others to what you believe.”

I want to be the type of person that people look to and feel inspired. Part of why I am writing this blog. People struggle all of the time; I struggle all of the time with issues that I know most women have dealt with or have to deal with. I am trying to bring myself closer to God to give me strength and I am trying to bring myself closer to others who share the same heart as me so that I can learn from them and grow.


The best part of my day has been my awesome trip to the Doctors office. They kept saying the word Perfect. Laken is measuring at 6 lbs 13 oz. He’s practicing his breathing, yada yada. He’s Perfect. My blood pressure is good, you’re gaining the right amount of weight, you’re blah blah blah. Everything is Perfect. The baby feels like he might be 7lbs or 7.5lbs, either way he is doing great. Everything is Perfect! I hate to rub it in to everyone who has ever had a child, but mine is Perfect! (already!)

(I could be a duck and talk about the customer service issues at wal-mart, but I am trying to be the eagle!!)


I initially thought that today would be the day that I would talk about a friend of mine who lets the stress of work set the standards for their day. Well, with the progression of MY day I have definitely found myself in some predicaments.

“Lack of Money is the root of all evil.” – George Bernard Shaw

Let’s just say that today I have talked with the hospital, my bank, and my x. The only helpful one has been the hospital. Another thing is let’s just say that I was a bickering “duck” to two of them and not to the one that deserves it the very most.

“Don’t tell me what your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I’ll tell you what they are.” – James W. Frick

I went on my lunch break and cried my little Chinese eyes out. The ducts in these bad boys aren’t afraid to be used. Sometimes when I get angry I just want to bang my hands on something, like a door or a table top. I know that that anger was sparked from having a wannabe WWF wrestler as a brother. One wrong sentence to him and you were body slammed to the ground. However today my hands banged together and I talked to the sky. “Lord, please help me.” Then they wiped my tears. Of course things aren’t fixed without trying or action. Finally I calmed and brought myself to a decent manor to start making moves into a comfortable spot. I chalked up my losses and I’m looking at what I have to work with.

“The glow of one warm thought is to me worth more than money.” – Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes you get in these spots of life where your whole world feels like it is tumbling down, but then you look to the Lord and he is still standing still, and you’re still in his hands. I’ll get through this sticky mess. Everything is going to be just fine.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

30 days of being an eagle!

I have taken the 30 day challenge. I have stumbled across a blog “eat, pray, love, live” and she has decided to do this challenge in the month of April. This challenge has been done by “the Nester” back in October and the outcome was phenomenal! 700 bloggers participated and they were forever grateful for the traffic that happened to their pages. I noticed that not all people completed the challenge, but it was pretty interesting and there was a wide variety of the topics these bloggers chose. I have been thinking for a day about this, and I have come to conclusion what my 30 day challenge will be….

I know it sounds strange! My friend Jamie at work shared with me a forward one day, and it really became a funny challenge for us at work. The story is about a cab driver who gives exceptional service to his patrons, while other cabbies don’t take pride in their job and give subpar service. He refers to those guys as the ducks because of their quacking and complaining all of the time, and he wanted to be the eagle who would soar above! In result he enjoyed his job, the customers, and was well off financially. Other cabbies who gave the crummy service had the overall crummy outcome. Pretty much the light or lack of light he brought reflected on his daily outcome. Jamie and I tried being eagles. We were silly about it, but we always tried to reflect and see the positive.

We work in a very dramatic work environment. There is a bunch of finger pointing and talk behind one another’s back. It is tragic. Jamie and I would come to work talking about how we’ve prayed to overcome these situations and not be involved. It is harder than you think. It is very easier to go with the flow of everyone else. However, this will be a 30 day challenge to rise above the ducks and soar.

I'll be doing clump posts throughout the month updating instead of an everyday thing, however i will stick to the challenge and write/date each day. This is going to be very interesting because within those 30 days I will have my son! I am so excited to see how I grow from this experience and challenge. I plan on throwing in a few curve balls. I don’t want it to be just a dear diary sort of posts. I hope that maybe you too can challenge yourself to see yourself as an eagle and leave the quacking behind.