a little boy bringing on a little bit of struggle

photo by unkle mar-mar

after these past two days i can't believe that my hair is on my head. i have had two days full of screaming and crying. i have had my patience tested, and i think i missed placed it. i prayed throughout my frustration, but for some reason it didn't work the whole time. i have been comforted all day today by friends and family saying supportive things... and one little line that stuck out the most was "everyone has stressful things in their lives at least ur stress comes from a beautiful baby boy that loves you." (things could be worse) and want to know the funny part... the stress didn't start until a little bit after i got off a phone call with my friend valerie yesterday. she told me "you're such a happy mom. when laken is fussy you're just so calm and cheerful." wellllll... that was because i had my mind set that he is only a 3 month old little guy and he needs help soothing himself and just needs to feel the love of his momma. the circumstances are that he just has me. i am the only one he is around 80% of his days, and he is used to me... if i don't do it, who will? i was looking all day for my sign, for my peace from God and I heard it on the radio. "God has a purpose for your pain, a reason for your struggles, a reward for your faithfulness. don't give up. trust him." I just need to just pray through it all. keep calm and just work it out.

just before writing this post laken reminded me of why i love being a mother and why he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. while reading "love you forever" he just smiled and laughed when i'd sing... "i love you forever, i like you for always, as long as i'm living... my baby you'll be."

little things just have to bring you back to your sanity. oh the joys of being a mother. :) ...i wouldn't change a thing. not even the last 2 days!

i promise