a little austin visit.

this past weekend my brother, laken, and i took a trip to austin to go stay with our cousin tiffany, her bf ben, and their little handsome baby boy sidney! they had a party on saturday and invited people from our family and just some local friends to a potluck dinner. it was a great little time.
the first night we just had a goof ball of a time. tiff, ben, marty, my other cousin austin, and i just played games, listened to music while marty free styled and had some adult beverages. i instagramed a ton of pictures that night, we were being too silly.


the next day during the day we were a little more chill. we just prepared for everyone's arrival. ben did a great job making the backyard look totally awesome. they already had it looking pretty spiffy but with a few more finishing touches they made it into a party! i wish i had gotten some pictures of it.
here are some pictures of us before the party started and then onces the festivities began.

this is laken's cousin sidney! when we first arrived on friday they were sort of amazed at each other. they thought it was pretty cool there was another little person in the house aside from their own reflection. i can't wait til they're older and can do boy things together.

and this is when the potluck began. i just got a few pictures of the night as it went on.

edgar, my brother marty's friend. i knew him before he was a bad seed. ;)

joslynn and baby taylor. joslynn is great with babies! she loves 'em. and laken loves cousin joslynn!!

cousin jesse and dallas... i think they stayed glued to these tvs. i don't think they'd of even went outside if it wasn't for the tv being moved outside.

this is my uncle toby. he's always been an awesome man. he's a great father, husband, and grandpa. :) (and uncle too!)

this is my friend carla's little girl Kylie Jo! she is so sweet, and funny!

baby love! from miss jay and gene is an innocent bystander.

this is my aunt teresa! she has always been such an awesome women in my life. she was great with me as i was growing up and she is always there to lend a sensitive ear and just always a joy to be around. i looooove my aunt teresa!!

this is baby mikey! isn't he adorable?! this is my cousin ashley's little baby!

this is eray! he is always super fun to hang with and be around. you can bounce jokes off him like he was a trampoline all day. he's a funny guy!

mommy and baby! soo sweet.


the next morning the family met up at tiffany's house and we got a momma and baby picture. the two momma's in the middle had their babies last year at this time. ashley and jessica are sisters. the little lady on the right and i both had our little boys this year. i must admit. they're all great looking babies!

edgar may be a quiet little guy, but when he was with laken he was pretty cute with him. this is him playing with his feet while we were loading up the car. uncle edgreen.

sunday we met up for a bite to eat with torie at Red's porch. the food wasn't that great, but the drinks and atmosphere was pretty good.

here is miss tori and lakester

and here is some momma and baby love.


there were a couple more outings after this, but it also included alot of rain and my camera was lacking on storage. however this post is picture heavy enough! i had a great time and can't wait to go back again. (but really of course i can wait.)
traveling with laken is good when i have someone else around, but i just don't like keeping him in a carseat all the time. as much as i have always been a get up a go girl, i have been hesitant more often now because of him. oh well. he's a trooper!

being back in austin this past weekend made me miss it. while there i noticed so many changes in my old neighborhood alone (78704), and i just know that when i do go back that my act needs to be 100% together. the city doesn't slow down for anyone, and i know its only austin, i just think that with laken and as a single mother... my ducks would definitely have to be in a row. probably after a couple months with laken here i will start the job search up there. if i get a good offer then i'll make the move. until then i will be chillin with my little dude watching his firsts and being the best parent that i can be.

forth of july pictures & alotta lovin!

what would you do if i told ya that i la-la-la-la-love you!
i had a great 4th of July. It was good just to unwind with family without a congestion of kids running around. there wasn't any fireworks or any firecracker.
we had a barbeque and played games outside on the back patio at my maw maw's house - which is my mother's mom. laken showed up for the festivities dressed to the nines.

today is my first 4th of july, and tomorrow is my first 5th of july.. what's the big deal?!



uncle mar-mar. my brother marty.


my maw maw. last night when i woke up for a feeding i stayed up just in love with laken and everything about him... i wrote this on an iphone note.

I can't describe how much I love my little guy. I love that I have the ability to hear the tiniest noises to wake up in the middle of the night to feed. I love that when I pick him up from his crib at 5 am that his hair is still combed and looks exceptionally handsome. I love when he is hanging out with someone else his eyes follow me when they find me. I love when he sits "still" and let's me read to him. I love when he wakes up and I unswaddle him he stretches these big "I'm growing" stretches. I love when he and I have conversations consisting of coo's and ahh's. I love that he let's me sit him up, dress him up, and stick a huge lens in front of his face. I love that my little 2 month old likes to sit on my hip and look out into the "world." I love that he makes spit up look like the latest fashion trend. And what I love the most of all is that when I look into his eyes.. I know and feel how much this little baby, who doesn't have the ability of speaking or any concrete thoughts, loves me back.

:)

growing belly

i had to do something with all the side view pictures in my cell phone. next time i want to document my pregnancy in a better way, but i didn't have a camera until the last couple weeks before i popped. sooo.... cell phone picture gif! i loved growing laken. he is the cutest!

dear laken

dear little baby laken,
you are growing up to be such a handsome little guy. and i thought you were cute right outta the oven.. who'd a thought you'd be THIS cute.
you are a little firecracker. i love waking up to your face. well, sometimes i think... come on laken... sleep just an hour longer! but then i look at your little baby blues and your ear to ear smile and i join along with you in your stretching! you're a fighter little guy, just like your momma. however, you like to fight the wrong things... your sleep and your bottle when its in your mouth... then you get mad because you want the bottle or you want the sleep. and i know when you're older you're gonna wish that you took better naps. i promise.
you eat like a monster, sometimes you eat too much and then we both get to wear it. you just fuss too much until you get a bottle (it is sometimes the only thing that will soothe you - chunk butt). oh boy, you little piece of work. i love ya anyway!
you're not quiet wearing 0-3 month clothes and you hardly fit in newborns anymore... i wish that hanging around in diapers was acceptable, but when you are in diapers i feel like the bad guy when i am patting your back.
when you're in other peoples arms you're always looking for me. like you think i'm the prettiest girl in the world... even when i'm greasy looking like a potato chip. thanks for that, but you'll soon see that these people that have you in their arms are pretty good looking too!
thank you for sleeping throughout the night and being the best part of my day. love you little guy to two infinity and beyond!

love,
mommy.

party decorated in 2 hours

well, my nieces are in town and their birthdays just past. they were expected home from the water park yesterday and due to have some family over at my mom's house for some cake and ice cream. the horror to my ears knowing there wasn't going to be any kind of decorations... i had to put together a couple things. i didn't spend any money, just used things i had at house and had a friend come over to hang out with laken while i got a couple things together.

if you'd like to try any of these simple crafts out just to spruce up a dinner party or celebration, i hope you find these tutorials helpful.

Pinwheel







with the desired inside-pattern of the paper facing to you, you will choose a corner of scrapbook paper and push the brad through the punched hole coming from the backside of the paper. you'll have to pull it towards the middle and bring the other edges going clockwise or counterclockwise into the brad. (these will layer underneath the first edge).

i used different lengths in size dowel rods to position them in the vase better. i used marbles for the bottom, but you can get creative with your vase... just letting you know how to make a pinwheel.

Bunting Flags





you will then take your twine and tiny cloths pins and pin the triangles. pick a pattern if you're using different colors/patterned triangles. i spaced mine about two inches apart. you can make a more permanent bunt by using thin ribbon, painters tape, and a sewing machine. the only thing you'd do different is tape the triangles in place on the ribbon and then run a straight stitch through the ribbon and then remove the tap. (the tape will be sewn too, but you'll remove it.. be careful when removing it too - don't want to tear the paper).

Napkin Holder



i decided to make this this way because wrapping the silverware wasn't looking too good with the way the napkins themselves were folded out of the package.
then you stuff the envelope with the napkins, fork, knives, spoon... chopsticks, whatever! :)

the bare necessities at 5 weeks

just a quick update on a saturday night, (well now its sunday).
i forgot to link this blog up to my blog... little over a month ago i was asked by Beth Ridings to write in a feature "Why I Blog" in the blog "Until only love remains." She is currently fundraising for Walk for Life... you can read more about it here. Pretty great stuff. My feature was posted back on my due date - so i was so wrapped up in that that i forgot to mention it in my blog.
here is the link if you'd like to read it.

anyhow, the last post I posted cause quite a stir, and I just want to say that we have all made our own choices in our lives and we chose to live with them. this isn't a competition between the dad and i of who has done better or who is worse off. i can speak for myself that i am very happy with my choices and i don't wish anything bad upon him - only good things.

another thing... i appreciate all the awesome and positive feedback i do get on my blog, i write to kind of let other women know that they aren't alone. i want people to be able to see themselves in my blog, because blogging is not only about me, but its about the reader as well.

ok, i wanted to post this at the month mark, but...... i've been in austin and then have been busy spending time with loved ones. tonight i had a baby sitter (my momma) so i could go enjoy a night on the town, but i ended up staying in and putting this together. these are the things that have gotten laken and i through these past 5 weeks and 3 days.



avent soothies - laken didn't get a pacifier for a while. i was trying to make sure that he didn't get nipple confusion. i threw a fit when they wheeled laken back into my room after being in the nursery at the hospital for a check up. however, i tried all kinds... i tried the tommy tippie ones, too big. i tried the gumdrop ones, too hard. i tried the nuk, he used them but they were alot different than the nipples on his bottles. the soothies were the only pacifiers that i didn't buy, and they work great. thanks celeste. :)
swaddle-me blankets - i am officially the worse swaddler in the world. i need to practice more of have a bigger blanket, or rubber bands to finish up the job. these swaddle me's get the job done in a snap (or well a placement of the velcro). i was so relieved once laken finally grew into them. he doesn't like waking up in them, but they do keep him asleep. his flailing arms are his worse enemy.
munchkins pacifier wipes - these are great for pacifiers or bottles when you're out and need to wash 'em and really can't. i don't like to, but if you're somewhere where you have to just rinse your bottle these are great to help clean 'em.
sleep sheep - this has become a great thing for laken when he is sleeping. i am starting to only use it when its time for him to go to bed for his long night of rest. the noise drowns out everything else and helps calm him to his happy sleeping place.
gumdrop bottles - the night that laken had to have an actual bottle with formula i grabbed one of these little guys off the shelf for him. i have spent money on tons of different and EXPENSIVE bottles. the nipple flow of all the others are just too much for him to handle. these are just perfect for him.
medline remedy foaming soap cleaner - this is probably one of my most favorite things ever. i use this on laken when he really needs to be cleaned up and there isn't time for a bath, and i used to use this on me all the time when i was out and smelling of breastmilk or spit up. it smells so great and really leaves you feeling clean.
medelda hydrogels - these really help your cracked/soar nipples. let me just tell you... i loved these things. i'm sure there are stuff out there that are better, and i'd love to know more tricks so that my next attempt at breastfeeding is more successful. there was just so many things i'd love to of known before it was too late and so many things i wish i could change and do again.
burp rags - do not even get me started unless i have one of these. i have them everywhere, and they are a MUST. don't ever leave anywhere without one. everytime i see a kid with a messy face i wanna clean it, and now that i have my own... his face is always clean.
twilight turtle - i'm sure laken will appreciate this guy a little later. it projects stars onto the wall. i love this little guy so i can check up on my sugar plum while he is sleeping. it comes in different colors and it is just too awesome! love, love, love.

its already two in the morning! time flew... gotta go to bed, church in the morning. good night!

not a parent, solo-rent.

doing things solo

most of you know that i started this parenting thing as a solo project. at first of course i didn't know what the outcome would be. i never knew if the dad would come around, and towards the end of the pregnancy i was afraid he would and relieved he hadn't. i can't really see myself sharing this precious little one with anyone. of course, if he did have a change of heart then i wouldn't be the one to stop him - (because his heart would be changed -- hopefully to a better place). i wouldn't do that to laken... be the one who got in the way of having a relationship with his biological father. anyhow... while writing this blog and going through the building a home and preparing for my little man process i have become so proud of myself. i wasn't ever the person who thought about what their kid would look like and what they would do. all i knew was i was going to have a boy who would have brown hair and brown eyes and his name would be julian (after the lead singer of the strokes, yes)... well God blessed with me a little boy would has blue eyes, redish tint brown hair and his name is Laken.

i'm not trying to air out my dirty laundry and talk about my past, but the fathers side insisted that i was having this baby to have people feel sorry for me. however, when i truly started to become aware (i finally got direct responses from the dad instead of hear-say from his "team") that this was a solo thing, that was when the mentality of "plenty of successful women raise children alone" just rang in my head all of the time. there wasn't room for anyone to feel sorry for me, and there wasn't a shred of myself feeling sorry for myself - i just felt blessed.

the number one question that is asked is if bubba has seen his son, they're always very shocked when i say no. they're never surprised that his family has come around and has seen him/ask about him. in reality they really aren't truly THERE for him, and that is ok.

as a mother to laken, i can only give him all that i can... and i have been blessed with a helpful, loving family that has enough love to act as if they were 5 different sets of families. (of course there is never enough love a person can have/recieve.)

after getting all the "heavy" outta the way i wanna take a little turn and talk about the things that have helped me these last 5 weeks that touch up on being a solo-rent.

-if someone has arms to hold the baby - go run and do something for yourself.

-single parent or not... you should have a baby monitor, i don't. its rough.

-don't be afraid to call up someone and ask them for help. i'm horrible at asking anyone to help. i am so independent i'll do it myself. however, i am not afraid to ask my mom to come over to help me clean up my apartment. :)

-i can use the restroom with my baby in my lap. i don't like to do it, but i will if i have to. i can even wash both hands while holding him. i pray i don't have to do that when he gets heavier.

-i don't ever complain about night time feedings. i am surprised how much people talk about the stress of having to get up and how their partner isn't helping. i just do it because if i don't who will. i couldn't imagine how aggravated i would be if i did have a partner who wouldn't take turns with me during the night to feed.

-make friends with friends that cook. or grandmothers or mothers. most of the time they'll wanna hold your baby so you can eat. its a definite win-win situation.

-understand that you can't just get up and go with a baby - no matter how much of a tumbleweed you once were. prepare the day before or hours before you leave somewhere. a little at a time. it took me 7 hours to leave to austin last friday. can you say nightmare!

-confide in a friend/relative that you admire to get parenting advice. parenting is a learning game, ask someone how they did things... ask a few people and get a variety and do what works best for you and your little one.

-the stress of doing things solo will get to you, so just vent it to someone that you look up to. (mothers, grandmothers, aunts... they know where your heart is and most of the time they've been through it before.)

-give it up to God. talk to him, ask him for strength each day. he blessed me with my miracle, he can bless me with the strength to survive it. :p

happy thursday everyone!! :)