my cousin (she is my age - 25 days less than I) and just had a baby boy feb 21st of this year. our boys will roughly be 2 months apart. she has been my best friend forever! and the first definition i've ever had a of a friend.
I know I should of asked permission before posting this, but I am gonna do it anyway!
I admire my cousin so much, and i am so proud of the women/mother she has become!
So this is my first "guest post" and she isn't even a blogger herself. she wrote me this in an email as if she had a blog.
And here goes...
Things I have learned from being a mom for 2 months:
1. It is the most rewarding thing in the world when you figure out what your baby wants. It can be frustrating and confusing when the only communication you have between you and your babe is a cry or a whine. You will go through that list of things he needs and it will be the very last thing you try. But its all worth it when he looks at you with this face of relief that you figured it out.
2. Everyone is different. Not only will your parenting style be different but your baby will be different from other babies. No one is "right", just different. I was told by a mom that it was crazy to her that I don't have Sid on a schedule. My belief is that Sid will do what he wants when he wants and that makes a happy baby. Hers was different and said her baby was cranky when he wasn't on a schedule. That doesn't make either of us wrong or that we didn't respect each others opinions... just different.
3. It can be scary. I cried when I thought my baby had a fever. Turns out he just didn't need such a big blanket with long pajamas. I rode in the car with him not wearing a seatbelt! He was in his carseat but didn't have it buckled. I panicked when I found out! Now I'm very watchful, but I can't turn back the clock and by the grace of God we were okay.
4. Not everyone is helpful. Luckily, most are and most want to be. Even strangers. The lady who waxed my eyebrows did it while he was crying and fussy the whole time without caring and even carried his carseat out to the car for me so I could feed him. But some people get really annoyed by newborns and just don't care. People will want to hold and coddle your baby but then the second they cry its back to you. Others will expect you to treat them like a guest and make sure you take care of them while taking care of a helpless newborn. Others will get offended when you don't take their advice or when they don't want to listen to how you want your baby to be taken care of.
5. You may not like your body. You will feel like you are thin but the mirror will tell you something else. People may be harsh. It is unfortunate that people are not more sensitive about this issue. You will be very proud about what you have done and keep that in mind. I was super pale and felt like I had no color in my skin for weeks. I smelled bad no matter how many showers I took. Hot breast milk plus sweat is not a pleasant perfume. Not to mention baby poop smell too!
6. If things aren't working for you... change it! We went through a million different nighttime routines before we were able to find one that worked. And I'm hoping within the next month we can change it again. You are in control. Well laken will be calling the shots but you play a huge part too. If he hates his crib that only means coming up with creative ways for him to like it or completly changing his sleep situation.
7. Remember you have mom instinct too. It is cool to have this extra little sense you never used before. It's like you just gained a super power. Don't stress yourself out, but If you don't think something isn't right, it probably isn't. If you think laken is uncomfortable, he probably is. Go with your instinct. We were programmed for this.
8. Lastly, love as much as possible. Love laken, love everyone around you, and love yourself. I could say cliche things like get enough sleep, nap when he does, get all the help you can, blah blah blah... but EVERYONE will tell you that. The reason they tell you is because they love you. It always feels good so love them back. Smile, take a deep breath and just say "yeah, I'll do that, thanks!" But the truth is, you'll sleep when you can, your not dumb. But being a new mother means you have just met one of the greatest loves of your life and like every new exciting relationship you break all those rules and stay up late, get drunk off the look of his eyes, and fall madly in love like nothing else in the world matters.
I love you dearly and seriously could not send more love and positive feelings your way. If you are anything like me you will soon be in that hospital bed thanking God imensly for the joy of life that he just given you. You are going to be such an amazing mother.
Love Tiffany aka Taz
awe, that was really sweet. It made me tear up.
ReplyDeleteYou made my night!
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic post! And she is sooo right! :)
ReplyDeleteYou really will and probably already have heard all the "sleep when your baby is sleeping" type of advice. But some of the things she said are not always the things people tell you. Sometimes you will have a screaming baby and NOTHING will be working. It's part of it, but you will figure it out and what works best for you and that little guy. :)