37 weeks

I am 37 weeks and i am scared. goodness... i only have 3 weeks left to go and i have never been a parent before. what did i get myself into?! i honestly feel lucky though. i don't have to compromise the parenting that i want for my child with someone else. there is no give or take here... just little ol me deciding. i hear alot from older women how i am going to miss being pregnant. so right now i am going to write the things i will miss and the thing i hope to forget!

1. the movement.. feeling your child who you're so longing to hold move inside of you is the most amazing feeling! especially that first kick. (my friend Jason felt my tummy this evening and was so weirded out when he felt laken move under his palm that he knocked on wood in hopes that he'd never know how it feels to have a baby inside of him. i just feel bad that a man will never experience this blessing.)

2. which brings me to number two.. the belly rubs. i love when people massage my belly. especially if they have the fake nails. feels goooood.

3. nesting. nesting is so much fun, you're preparing for a new life to come into this world. you're setting the environment for this little meatloaf to grow.

4. the blessings of gifts. it was an overwhelming feeling getting so many gifts throughout the passed couple of months. this baby, who means the world to me already, has people who already love him and just want him to flourish and have things that he needs. i have never in my life been more grateful for anything than now.

5. being overwhelming proud with myself. i have worked hard to have the things i have for laken and myself. i am proud that i haven't had one cent or any extended hand from the "father's" side of the family. i have kicked-ass and have been on a roll. i was no where near being this determined about anything until i have became a single parent. it is rewarding, and i know its about to get overwhelming. i may finally start cursing the fathers name in a month, but right now.. i'm good. i'm proud. its the best feeling. :)


things i will not miss:

1. Acid Reflux.... :'(

2. guys who say.. "man you're fat!" thinking that that is a funny way of telling me that i am getting big or about to pop... i just want to respond, Gosh you're ignorant.

3. the urge to throw up when i haven't eaten.

4. feeling so worn out by the time 9 o'clock rolls around.

5. the swelling i've been encountering this past week.

....now i'll share with you tonight.

kayla, a good friend, has finally come back to town and tonight we had a dinner to "welcome" her back. its so great to have her back, i have missed having a girl friend that will just come over and hang out. i'm also so proud of her! she has completed training as a customs and border protection agent!
here is a picture of my friends. they are all beautiful girls who have overcome so many obstacles in life and are just great! hard working moms, graduates and careers, newly weds, and go gettin'-it students! they're awesome! (sarah is missing from the picture)



bianca, kayla, valerie, myself, marla, and christina


xo

t-shirt scarf

this was simple as pie. i really admire these scarves i've been seeing on pinterest and i decided they are probably not going to be hard to make.. and i wanted to see if i actually like the way they look on me. my mom gave me an old t-shirt and voila... scarf. :) i'm thinking about selling these on etsy. get creative and do different things to them. i DID say that i wanted to sell things on etsy (in my 25x25), so why not?!







I'm sure it would look a ton better on someone who didn't have a pregnant belly, but you get the idea.

24th birthday

my 24th birthday came and went. i had some wonderful women that kept me company that day. of course it would have been more awesome to have my sister laina or my cousin tiffany join along.

my birthday fell on me being one day shy of 9 months pregnant. don't expect much excitement to go on when you're 9 months pregnant. a masseuse will not touch you in fear of putting you into labor and a pedicurist will not touch the bottom of your feet in fear of putting you into labor. she will however, use a cheese grader to get all that stuff off your feet that you've accumulated due to wearing flip-flops because no other shoe will fit at the time.

i had a wonderful time eating on the island at a place called black sheep. very good. i had the crab nachos and a pear pie. delicious. had a pedicure sans the massaging of the feet. had dinner (cause apparently that is all that pregnant people are allowed to do. :p) then i ended the night watching 21 jump street. it was a pleasant day, and i really enjoyed everyone's company.

BIGGEST STRESS::

I have been putting this off and putting this off. I have no signs of labor - nothing! but it would be a smart thing at 36 weeks and 3 days to get things on the ball. I've always been a speedy packer, so I guess I assume that while I am going into labor I can pack a bag too! now THAT is some great ambition if you ask me. Today I told myself was going to be THE DAY. well... this is all that I have accomplished:

-stuffed about 7 outfits in my diaper bag... FAIL. (I should only probably take about 2 or 3)
-threw a swaddle me in there for good measures
-I have transfered all of the toiletries i have boughten from the sack i got from the store to a make-shift shower bag (which hopefully i find a real one before)... I could of done that 4 weeks ago when i bought the stuff.
-I put my boppy pillow on the car-seat. yep, I moved a pillow all of 5 feet! and NO, the car-seat isn't already buckled up in the car!

I also posted about how i haven't packed my bag in this pregnancy facebook group i'm in, and i made the type face for when i DO actually get the darn thing packed. (see above)

maybe i'm just thinking if i don't pack the bag then i won't have to go to the hospital any time soon. and i have my fingers crossed i make it passed the 13th.

xo

currently

Listening - Eric Church - Sprintsteen. That song is great! It is "country" but it reminds me of the music I am deeply in love with and it just makes you want to shuffle your feet on a wooden floor porch with a glass of sweet tea in a mason jar while the dark sky is light up by the green sparks of fireflies. I love it!


Reading - this new book "Bearded Lady." It was a cheap little book that was featured on my new kindle fire. (birthday gift! i love it!). The book is hilarious. I pretty much read it all in one sitting, its about a women who has done everything to get rid of "sightly" facial/body hair. The lengths she goes through and the humor she has about it throughout the whole book just keeps you turning pages (in this case, swiping the screen).


Loving - My church. I love going to church every Sunday. I love how it sets the mood for the week and helps you reflect on the week before. I love it.


Thinking - Alot lately, about being scared. I have been thinking about how scary it is to be a parent. I know it will come natural, and if I went around telling people I'd hear the same responses. But being a parent is a very scary thing, and I think I'm scared! No, I know I am!


Wanting - A camera. I have been researching cameras, I want something with great picture quality and something that’s great in a low-light setting. I don't want to spend more than $350.


Wishing - There was enough time in the day. Or more fun things to do during the work day!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

about my blog

I wanted to take this time to share with the readers what sets my blog apart from the others. I admire the blogs I find most frequently on the internet written by women who are newlyweds. They usually write about their pregnancy, children, fashion, DIY, and of course their husbands. As I am pregnant, and a former art student I can definitely cover two of those things. Fashion – not so much considering I have never had the perfect body to wear the things I think are amazing, and haven’t figured out how to make things look amazing on myself not a size 2. Although some ladies don’t mention their husbands too often, I always wonder to myself how they are able to provide for their families and have such pretty things. Simple there is always a tall-dark and handsome behind these women.

Since expecting I have joined “What to Expect” chat rooms, when I did, I was overwhelmed with the idea of being a single mother -- I was still arguing with the “father” -- I would read the topics that these single mothers would post. They were all so negative, they feared being alone, and they just wanted the person who tears them down to be with them. I will admit I face my feelings all of the time. I am constantly thinking about Laken’s “father,” its hard for me to admit that, but it is even harder to deny it.

However, I know that I am blessed! I have seen so much change in myself, change that I would have never made if I was still by Laken’s “father’s” side or if I wasn’t pregnant. It gets hard sometimes, there are days where I just sort of break down and think about being alone, but then I think of all the great things I do have, and all the people who haven’t left me and then I sky rocket back up! I want to show to all the single women out there that they can be just as fabulous as the “girl who has it all.” We aren’t from two different zip codes, we’re neighbors.

Please don’t take me as a hater of men, or the idea of marriage because I am not opposed to the idea. I have faith that the good Lord will bring a good man into mine and Laken’s life when the time is right. Until then…

DIY nursing covers

nursing covers are basically backwards capes... and why wouldn't they be? you're basically a superhero to your little baby who you've given life and are providing nutrients to. you, being as awesome as you are, you deserve a cape superhero!



i registered for nursing covers.. and i never got 'em. i understand completely though. most of the time girls give up on breast-feeding and who wants to buy a $35 "sheet" for something that is more trial and error than anything.
well... i am determined to breast-feed. i am going to try till my hearts content. anyhow, i am a VERY VERY modest person. sometimes its disgusting how uncomfortable i can be about things. anyway, when i didn't receive a nursing cover i was totally fine with making one myself. i googled how to do it and stumbled upon prudent baby's DIY Nursing Cover. i am not much of a reader when it comes to instructions, but i didn't really need to with the pictures they provided. instead of using the "boning" (which i got a funny look when i asked the fabric lady at walmart- but then again... i did only go to walmart) i took it back old school style and used pipe cleaner! i used four ands twisted them together to make the 14" i think the instructions called for (again... didn't really read). i am pretty excited with how it turned out. i bought another kind of fabric to make another, but these days... i favor naps on my spare time (which is limited).

25 by twenty five

with my birthday coming up in a couple of days i have thought back on what my 23rd life has brought me... i have changed tremendously. 24 years old isn't a mile marker, but it is going to make the year that i give birth to baby lake and that is HUGE to me! it got me thinking about turning a quarter of a century old, and with a little one on the way there isn't some outrageous thing that i can do to solidify my 25 years. i've seen the lists 30 things by 30 years old, and i decided that i would list 25 things i would like to do before my 25th year. I have a 375 days to get the list done, which isn't bad and i intend to stick with it. they're small accomplishments, but if you've ever made a list and actually crossed everything off your list............. it feels GREAT!!! :)
what is on your list?

11 things...

Last night i was glued to my laptop. I stumbled upon a great blog, jenloveskev! She was tagged in this questionaire "11 things" and i decided to do it myself.

Here are the rules..
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you’ve tagged them.

1. My favorite kind of books to read is a memoir. It is great to hear a person’s own perspective on their life. I’ve taken, and dropped out of a memoir writing class. I think I lost confidence in what I’d write. I don’t think I had enough life experience at the time to attract a reader, and I think I might have been too afraid of what I’d learn about myself.

2. I love the feeling of traveling. The most foreign place I’ve been is Israel, and to see how other people live helps put things into perspective your own life. Aside from the sense of feelings so small in this big world, you also get an overwhelming desire to want to live life a little differently, just to try it on for size.

3. I don’t particular like the Texas heat, but I like doing things outside, if my body and will power allow!

4. I used to love cooking, and then I moved to Kingsville. That still baffles me.

5. I used to think I had good ambitions and desire to be more, but I never truly became that girl until I became pregnant & single.

6. People who re-read books impress me. I’m a slower reader when it comes to people who love to read. I’m amazed by a person’s time commitment for a re-read!

7. I try to see the best in the people who are my “enemies.” I’m also surprised I have enemies. I guess we could rephrase that to the people that don’t see eye to eye with me.

8. I am not a “sweets” person, but I love artificial cherry flavored ANYTHING!

9. I am grossed out by long “real nails” and armpits.

10. As much as I didn’t want to move from Austin back to Kingsville, I am so glad that I did. It has knocked me out of my funk, and has turned my life upside down. Turning it around has been so rewarding for me.

11. I have never wanted to be a mommy, ever! Just thought it’d happen someday… Now that it is happening and the changes I feel and see I couldn’t be more excited about being a mommy if I tried.

11 questions:
1. If money, schooling or time was no obstacle, what career would you choose?
I would be an event planner. I love everything about getting down to detail. I don’t have the opportunity to do anything crazy big thus far, but if it is someone’s birthday I always want to do as much as I can! I have a bunch of great ideas of my own when I start to envision things and I have also seen a bunch of great things I’d love to put my spin on and try. I want to be a designer, if I am not considered one already. I think I need more confidence than anything… have any to spare?

2. What’s the one thing you look forward to every day?
Since pregnant, my favorite part of my day is settling down at night feeling Laken move around. I love seeing my belly go side to side in “womp” movements. I can’t wait to meet this little guy.

3. What is your number one, all-time, favorite blog?I have always had a blog. I’ve never found a niche that worked for me and others to read. It was always just about my personal life, but nothing great was happening. It was never inspiring. I have recently started looking at blogs online from other women who just seem like they have it together, but when I get to reading they just make it look pretty & really go through the same things as me. I haven’t come across my all time favorite blog just yet, because I have just started to read others. I’ll definitely let you know when I do find that one special blog out there that steals my heart!

4. Biggest online pet peeve?
Cussing! or constant complaining without a positive outlook anywhere! I am guilty of this from the younger version of myself, but now I just see how tacky you look and how accessible the internet is, I just wouldn’t want to be perceived as a potty mouth negative nancy! But believe me, I understand… sometimes you just wanna say “f*ck, could this day get any worse?!”

5. What is your all-time favorite book?
I know that this is a favorite for most people, and I can’t even pretend to be a hipster and choose a classic or some obscured author or book… but Pray, Eat, Love was definitely a book that got me through a really tough time. It helped me see the positive in things and helped me want to seek some sort of spiritual guidance again. It was really a great book to read at such a difficult forsaken time of my life.

6. What would your “last meal” be?
If it had to be cheap and quick I’d be a liar if I didn’t say a bean and cheese taco. If I wanted to have a meal that I’d remember forever in my life after death… it’d be some type of stir-fry meal… chicken, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, onions, bell peppers, onions, zucchini, garlic, some sort of seasoning, on a bed of white rice with sweet and sour sauce for fun. Yum, yum, yum… lunch time yet?!

7. Do you believe in love at first site?
Absolutely not. Not because I am a hater when it comes to men, because I am truly not. I have just always felt those… I need to know this guy sort of feelings and they have never been who I’d imagine them to be. I am guilty of pretending though.

8. What would your ideal Sunday morning consist of?
Something girly to watch, something fruity to drink, something fun to make, something adventurous to do. Perfect Sundays would be a Sunday Funday in Austin. I miss those… they were not the days I thought about or counted down to in the week, but they always seemed to be the best day out of the 7. I guess it must have been appreciating the finer things. Reading a book on the patio underneath the greenest of trees, having a warm beverage in a cute coffee mug, taking a picnic basket with snacks out to a park downtown to people watch or to the greenbelt to just feel the sun, or just to ride around the outskirts of town to realize that things don’t always have to be in your face busy. I miss a good ole fashion Austin Sunday Funday.

9. Why do you blog?
Stress relieving. I also want to be able to look back on this time in my life… I don’t have anyone to really share this experience with, and this is my way of sharing it with myself and one day sharing it with my son if he’d have any interest in sharing.

10. If you had to choose one color to wear forever, what would you pick?
Black. My mother gets on to me for choosing it when it is an option, but it’s the “most flattering” and who knows how I will look after the baby! Sticking true to my color! Or Shade.

11. What is your all-time favorite band?
If you know me at all, you will know that that is an easy question for me to answer. The Strokes. The way that all 5 of those guys put a song together just puts me in a place where I’m mesmerized. I can be stuck here in this small funky/country town but when I hear a riff or whatever you music wizkids (no pun intended) call it, it just gets me doing a sort of jump up and down journey to the streets of the city and makes me feel like I’m living a life that I want to live. Busy, stylish, fast paced, and chic –and most times that is the complete opposite of my life. It is definitely one band that I don’t relate to any crummy relationship or anything situation in my life. I love them for them and they make me feel the way I feel for me, not anyone else. Music, I love that it is transcending!

Questions & Tagging
I enjoyed the questions that were asked, but if you’d like me to give you a set of question I have a couple on my mind… let me know and I’ll give them to you. I won’t tag anyone, because at the moment I don’t have any particular bloggies that follow my blog to post a blog themselves. The only people I know of so far that read my blog are my friends, some family, and maybe a few girls from an expecting group off of facebook.

Pregnancy Must Haves

So I am sure if you have been on pintrest you have seen "Little Baby Garvin's" popular blog about the chalkboard tutorial. It so happens that the girl writing the blog has been expecting, well she recently had her baby. My friend Tori asked me if i had read it lately.. I hadn't read it ever! She told me i should because its actually pretty funny. So i skimmed through and read things here and there while it work today. She has a blog about her Pregnancy Must Haves... and I just had to do one of my own! So here is Mine:


Oil Blot Sheets and Aveeno Positively Ageless: Your skin changes while you’re pregnant. Mine started out to be the best skin I had ever had, I even considered to be a face model, until the middle when the double chin kicked in as well as the acne and the oil! I know the Oil Blot sheets are so junior high, and you might feel that way when you’re caught blotting your face in through the tint-less windows of your 2003 corolla, but you will still love the results. The Aveeno Positively Ageless isn’t harsh on your skin, has a light scent, and leaves your face feeling clean and refreshed without feeling torn up by a harsh face wash.
Water Tumbler: Definitely will have to agree with Jessica Garvin with the tumblers! I have religiously been a water tumbler user since I have become pregnant! I used to use the water canteens, but once I started to realize that they were hard to clean and I was drinking out of one with mildew at the bottom I was relieved to find out how much I love tumblers! They don’t sweat and they keep your beverage (water) cold! I have one for the office, one for trips, and one for at home. I even bought one for the girl that works with me… I couldn’t be the only one saving the planet and looking cute at the water jug!
Burt’s Bees Mama Bee: I had stretch marks on my tummy before I was even pregnant. I figured, wow, I can say that I have them for a reason now! I was going to go through the whole thing with just the pump lotion by my bed. (I think I had St. Ives) I started getting the belly itch and decided that it was time to get something for Mama. I love that Burt’s Bees is natural and eco-friendly. This belly balm is fragrance free which is great for all us stuffy-itchy-nose Mommas to be! It also locks in a moister all day. Seriously, last night before I was going to put on my nightly rub I felt my stomach and wasn’t sure if I had put some on already or not because my skin still felt great from my morning application!
Fiber One/Breakfast on the Go: These were a life saver throughout my entire pregnancy. I was too sick to eat my first trimester and these little treats would hit the spot when I felt like I would pass out. They still live up to their prestige title I’ve given them. They’re GREAT for giving you that extra burst of energy to last you to your next small meal, or to get your day started if you’re not a huge breakfast person like myself.
Mrs. Meyer’s dish washing soap: I am not big on house work, and definitely not now when sometimes me feet and hands feel like they have been beaten with sticks! I have started to buy things that I like to make jobs easier or a little more enjoyable. If you like the stuff you’re using, I think that you’ll be more “excited” to use it. I love my lavender scented dish soap… it makes the whole house smell great when I am done, and I love it! But please, don’t think that I will come over to your house and do your dishes, count me out!
“Element: Prenatal & Postnatal Yoga” DVD: I am not a huge work out person, but I do have my spurts of energy from time to time. I am never consistent, but when I notice how inactive I have been I’ll start moving! I love this DVD because it helps you work up a mild sweat, while strengthening your muscles, and helping you not feel like the lump you think you look like. I am not consistent on this, but at least once a week before I take my shower for bed. I haven’t checked out the postnatal section yet, but I plan on starting it after 6 weeks of birth.

Body Pillows: I have two. My dad was sick and my G-Ma sent him a really nice one, but he is the kind of guy that uses 4 pillows to sleep with and with my expanding self I thought I should steal it. I LOVE MY PILLOW!! I loved it so much, my mom gave me another one so that I could give my dad back his, but my dad wouldn’t take it back which was fine with me because I didn’t want to give it back! I sleep between two and make a hotdog. They’re great for giving your tummy support and not letting yourself roll on your tummy and also give you the incentive to not lay on your back (which is a pregnancy no-no).
TUMS: These are basically like snacks! I get heartburn/reflux all of the time, and these little bad boys do the trick. However, when I first started taking them they wouldn’t. I learned you’re not supposed to drink water with them because that just helps keep the reflux-a-fluxing!
Online Shopping: When you work full time, and shopping places are either far away or fighting with traffic and crowds isn’t appealing and when you have a ton of preparing to do on your plate… shopping is on your list, yes, but definitely not something you want to jump right on. I have found that online shopping has really saved me tons of stress. Couple clicks, a few keys pressed and then you just wait for whatever it is. Total life saver!
Last but not Least…
Baby 411: Probably the best book I have read for preparing for pregnancy. It is written by a pediatrician from Austin. She gives the facts, pro & cons, and her professional opinion and opinions for other mothers. She lays everything out there so that you will feel comfortable with making the right choice for your baby. Its very up-to –date, and will definitely be my go-to book when Laken is here. To me it works like his user-manual. Its great! I highly recommend it, as it was recommended to me by my cousin Tiffany, who just delivered her first baby a couple weeks ago.